


Wonderwall

by Ylinestra (FlareLunari)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 04:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlareLunari/pseuds/Ylinestra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night at the beach takes a turn that Niall didn't anticipate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonderwall

The beach bonfire burned brightly and illuminated the beach beautifully with its warm glow. Several groups of people were scattered around, talking animatedly and evidently had a good time. Niall sat on a log and strummed a few chords on his guitar, quietly humming along while he observed the others. Josh was nowhere to be seen and Niall didn’t have the faintest clue where his mate had run off to. Today was the last evening of their shared seaside vacation and at around midday the next day they would be on their way back to London. Back to work.

Niall had really enjoyed the time at the beach, but unbidden feelings kept coming to the surface of his mind and lately he found it increasingly more difficult to stuff them back into the farthest corner of his head. They were just friends and he was supposed to be straight – at least that was what he kept telling himself. Management already gave Louis and Harry a hard time and they would totally flip their shit if another of their precious boys didn’t have a thing for boobs. So he didn’t tell anyone that he had a crush on Josh. It probably ran even deeper than that, but Niall absolutely refused to admit to being in love.

Some people that stayed at the same hotel had invited them to the party and while Niall had thought it to be a great idea at first he’d rather be anywhere else than here now. His eyes scanned the crowd again and finally found Josh – deep in conversation with some bottle blonde that was undressing him with her eyes. Another girl joined them and Josh smiled at her which made Niall want to puke.

“Shower of cunts...” He murmured the expletive almost silently, but a guy next to him turned around and raised his eyebrows. Niall just shook his head and the guy shrugged before he resumed talking to the group of people in front of him. No one really paid him any attention and while Niall was grateful for that normally, he hated it today. He wanted to drink a few pints with Josh and have a laugh, but no. Josh preferred chatting up some stupid bitches and left his – supposedly – best mate all alone.

The smile he gave those slags was quite lovely and Niall really wanted to be at the receiving end of that, too. He’d probably blush like a virgin schoolboy and give himself away then though. But no, they were just friends. And Josh was straight as a stick, as he so obviously liked to demonstrate to Niall. He didn’t even know why he got so fed up over this – well yes, he did know, but it was not like it would change anything – so he tried to distract himself. For a moment Niall thought about what to sing and finally decided on one of his favorites. He knew the song by heart and confidently started to play it on his guitar, singing along for real this time. In his mind he dedicated the song to Josh, even though it was a sappy and girly thing to do.

_I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now_

Certainly not that blonde bitch, that didn’t even pay attention to Josh anymore, because she stared at _him_ now. Niall couldn’t help but smirk a little at that and felt like he had accomplished something. When he was halfway through the song, he had gathered quite a little crowd of onlookers. No one joined him, they just listened and Niall actually enjoyed it. No agitated and screaming girls, just quiet listeners who could appreciate the music itself.

_There are many things I’d like to say to you, but I don’t know how_

When he looked up again his eyes met those of his best friend. The look Josh gave him made Niall quite uncomfortable, but he was too much of a professional to be affected by that. He didn’t even falter for the fraction of a second, but he lowered his gaze again. He could still feel Josh watching him, but maybe he just imagined it. There certainly were a lot of things he wanted to tell his best friend, but he couldn’t – or wouldn’t. Of course there were moments where Niall really wanted to, but he always stopped himself before he said too much. Before he jeopardized their friendship, or even worse – the band. If it was just himself he wouldn’t really care who knew that he was gay, but he couldn’t be that selfish if the future of other people was so closely entwined with his own.

_I said maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me_

At times Niall almost wished his life was still an ordinary one. Just studying at uni and getting drunk on weekends, having fun with his friends from Mullingar. Not being in the public eye and having to watch his every move. But he wouldn’t have the boys – and Josh – if he was a regular person, so he probably shouldn’t complain. At least he had an outlet for all his pent up emotions in his music. 

_And after all, you’re my wonderwall_

He couldn’t help but look right at Josh when he sang that line and of course the small smile on his friend’s face wasn’t lost on Niall. When he finished the song, there was a round of applause and then everyone went back to what they had been up to before the impromptu little gig. Niall carefully put his guitar aside and grabbed the nearest beer to down it in one long swig. There were only two options for him, really. One, he could go back to their hotel room and sulk or two, get smashed. And he didn’t really have to contemplate that one, so more alcohol it was.

Before he could find something else to drink though, he felt someone take a seat on the log next to him. The familiar weight of a warm hand settled on his shoulder and Niall was surprised to see Josh smiling at him. He tried to take a look around inconspicuously, but the girls his mate had been preoccupied with were nowhere in sight.

“Looking for someone?”, Josh asked quietly and Niall shook his head. He couldn’t suppress a shiver when the drummer’s hot breath tickled his neck.

“Nah, just for something to drink.” He was a shitty liar, but thankfully Josh didn’t comment on it. Instead he just handed Niall his own beer and winked at him. Disregarding his friend’s odd behavior, Niall took the bottle with a nod and downed it. Of course he was glad that Josh apparently wanted to spend time with him now but he didn’t even pretend to understand it. There were a lot of questions running rampant in his mind.

“I’m quite tired... You coming back with me?” Niall couldn’t hide his surprise this time and raised an eyebrow. Josh just shrugged and got up, still waiting for an answer. There was no reason to stay at the party, so Niall got up as well and grabbed his guitar. They said goodbye to a few people and Josh slung his arm around Niall’s shoulders, pulling him close while they walked back to their hotel in silence. There was an odd glint in the drummer’s eyes and Niall got more confused by the second. He just hoped to God his mate hadn’t invited those cunts back to their room.

“A little eager, are we?”, he tried to tease, but Josh just laughed and squeezed his shoulder. That wasn’t really the kind of answer Niall had anticipated, but he would see for himself soon enough anyway. If it proved to be true he would just spend the night at the hotel bar and get wasted after all.

Josh fumbled with the key for a moment when they reached their destination and since there were no girls in sight Niall relaxed a little. He put his guitar on one of the sofas in the living room of their suite and was just about to go to his bedroom when Josh grabbed his wrist and slammed him against the wall none too gently.

“What the fu–“ 

But Josh wouldn’t let him finish that sentence. Slightly chapped lips descended on his own and caressed them lightly, felt oh so good. Niall was shocked to say the least and ceased to fight immediately. Emboldened by that, Josh kissed him for real and cradled Nialls face softly in his palms. The kiss was still chaste and Niall wanted more, even though he shouldn’t. That thought stopped him cold and he pushed Josh away, staring at his friend like a deer caught in headlights.

“We... we can’t... I...” He couldn’t string a real sentence together and seeing the hurt flash in Josh’s eyes made it even worse. The drummer looked at his shoes and ruffled his hair – seemingly lost. Niall wanted to reach out to him but he was afraid.

“I’m sorry. I thought... I must have misunderstood...” Niall’s heart almost broke at the whispered words because Josh’s voice sounded so broken. Was it really the right choice to deny himself and Josh what they both clearly wanted? Did it really matter if their management would breathe down his neck for this, as long as he was happy? And had Harry and Louis given up because it wasn’t easy? Hell no. So why should he? Trying to be responsible had just been the simple way out, but Niall was done with lying to himself. So he finally reached out to Josh and hugged him tightly.

“No, you didn’t and I’m sorry...”, he whispered and gently kissed Josh’s cheek. “I was just scared...”

“Niall...”, Josh began, but was shut up by a finger on his lips.

“No, let me finish. I want this – I want you. Have wanted you for ages, actually... But I was hiding behind all of the reasons why we shouldn’t do this, shouldn’t be together. But I’m tired of all the bullshit and I’m finally ready to stand up for the things I want. So yeah...”

A bright smile lit up Josh’s face and Niall’s breath caught in his throat. It was _the_ smile he had wanted to see directed at him, but a little different, because there was real emotion in the other’s eyes.

“I’m all yours.”

Niall leaned his forehead against Josh’s for a moment and smiled, holding his boyfriend close again. It felt strange to think that, but it was the truth now. Josh _had_ saved him, after all. If he wouldn’t have been brave enough to take that first step, Niall would never have realized the truth. No matter what life would throw at them, he would be strong, because they were in this together.


End file.
